Solution to Americas recession

The solution is quite simple, the only obstacle needed to be overcome would be changing the minds of the people, which should not be too complicated. After all, through out some exciting fancy words and promise and the sheep herd themselves.

So what's this genius solution you say? Invade Canada.

No, I'm not kidding. And there are multiple, logical reasons for this. First of all, stop thinking of those pesky Canadians as humans and this will be a lot easier.

Reason #1: This has been proven to work before! Other solutions are theories, and have yet to work, but this one is tried and true. Put all of our unemployed to work on a massive American war machine! Make Canada our Poland, we already have it surrounded and it has no nearby allies.

Reason #2: In case of global warming, we now have plenty of newly habitable empty land. if those southern states become too hot or underwater, we have relocation abilities!

Reason #3: Nobody likes a free-loader! Canada refuses to pay for a NORAD missile defense shield, so American tax dollars are used for development. Furthermore, if a nuclear missile were to be launched at Canada, we'd stop it to avoid pollution in USA, but we'd have to pay to save their lives! Do I look like Batman? I'm not giving up everything to save some freakin' Canadians!

Reason #4: Health care industry would profit. No more cheap Canadian drugs!

Reason #5: Not only would we have access to many more oil reserves, but plenty of room for pipelines without having to worry about foreign laws. Not to mention mining possibilities.

Reason #6: This benefits all of you directly, as Alaskans the profit from this could be enormous. No longer would people need a passport to just drive up here and support our economy with tourism. Furthermore Alaska companies would have the jump on necessary supplies for living in the arctic.

Reason #7: Possibly the most important reason, we wouldn't have to deal with these people ever again! No more annoying Canadians in south park, no more 2nd place in hockey, no more 'eh' jokes, and no more "American side of Niagara falls."

The economy would return to normal (if not better) conditions and the benefits could be infinite! And I mean that was our land in the first place, if those darn French wouldn't have interfered it'd have been ours. How dare they think they can get away with our land!